SUMMARY
Strategic partnerships are frequently discussed as a growth strategy in the advisory industry, yet they remain widely misunderstood. Many advisors approach partnerships with a referral-first mindset, viewing other professionals as potential lead sources rather than as collaborators in the client experience. In this episode of The Rare Advisor, Aaron Grady and Alan Oehrlein challenge that thinking and propose a fundamentally different approach—one rooted in trust, alignment, and long-term relationship building rather than transactional exchanges.
The conversation begins by acknowledging a common problem: advisors often treat strategic partners as a means to an end. When relationships are evaluated by referral counts or perceived fairness, they quickly become strained. This scorekeeping mentality not only erodes trust but also prevents relationships from developing organically. Instead, Aaron and Alan emphasize that true strategic partnerships are built on shared trust, mutual respect, and a collective commitment to serving clients well. The shift in mindset—from “what can I get?” to “how can we serve?”—is the foundation for sustainable growth.
Trust, they note, is not built in a single meeting. Much like client relationships, partnerships require consistent, positive experiences over time. Advisors who expect immediate advocacy without investing in the relationship inevitably fall short. This is where intentionality becomes critical. Treating strategic partners with the same level of thoughtfulness and structure as top clients elevates the relationship and signals professionalism.
When it comes to finding potential partners, the episode dispels another common myth: that networking events, cold outreach, or online prospecting are the best places to look. Instead, the most natural and effective partnerships already exist within an advisor’s client base. Clients routinely work with accountants, attorneys, bankers, and insurance professionals they trust. These existing relationships provide a natural bridge, allowing advisors to identify professionals who are already delivering strong client experiences.
As advisors begin to surface these connections, patterns emerge. When the same professionals appear repeatedly across multiple client relationships—and when clients actively praise their experience—it becomes clear who stands out. The goal is not to build a large list but a short list of professionals who align with the advisor’s standards and values. These are the individuals an advisor would feel confident introducing to their best clients, knowing the referral reflects directly on their own credibility.
To evaluate whether someone is truly a good fit, Aaron introduces a simple yet effective framework built around three criteria: actions, attitude, and advocacy. Actions reflect how the professional operates their business and serves clients. Attitude captures their approach to advice and whether they respect professional collaboration or lean toward product-driven thinking. Advocacy focuses on whether they can clearly articulate the advisor’s value and speak about it with confidence. A weak or misaligned referral not only creates a poor client experience but can also damage trust in the advisor who made the introduction.
Once a potential partner has been identified, many advisors default to informal coffee meetings without a clear purpose or structure. This, according to the conversation, is where momentum often stalls. Professional relationships, like client relationships, are strengthened by thoughtful process. Rather than pitching or asking for referrals, advisors are encouraged to frame initial meetings as fit conversations designed to explore alignment. Setting a formal agenda, defining expectations, and positioning the meeting as exploratory rather than transactional creates immediate distinction and lowers pressure on both sides.
If early conversations go well, the real work begins. Too often, advisors follow up sporadically and hope advocacy will materialize on its own. Instead, advocacy must be earned through consistency, structure, and personal connection. Aaron and Alan draw a direct parallel between nurturing top clients and nurturing strategic partners, suggesting that advisors build a service matrix for partners just as they would for their most valuable client relationships.
This matrix might include regular relationship-based conversations, personalized communication based on the partner’s interests, recognition of personal milestones, and shared experiences that extend beyond business. Inviting partners to client events or social gatherings further integrates them into the advisor’s ecosystem, making their presence familiar to clients and reinforcing trust. When advisors leave these relationships to chance, partners may assume the same lack of structure exists in the client experience.
Ultimately, when strategic partnerships are approached with intention, outcomes align naturally. Clients benefit from access to trusted professionals, partners gain confidence in the advisor’s process, and advocacy develops as a byproduct rather than a goal. The episode reinforces a powerful idea: growth does not come from pursuing referrals, but from becoming deeply integrated into a network of trusted professionals who share a commitment to high standards.
The episode concludes with a practical action plan. Advisors are encouraged to start by having deeper conversations with their best clients about the other professionals they rely on, identifying consistent names and positive experiences. From there, narrowing the list to a small group of aligned professionals allows for focused relationship building. Formal fit meetings, followed by a structured partner experience, replace passive follow-ups and unrealistic expectations. The message is clear—chasing referrals leads to frustration, but building real relationships creates lasting value for clients and advisors alike.
TRANSCRIPT
Aaron Grady, Advisor Consulting Director at USA Financial - Welcome back to another episode of the Rare Advisor. I'm your host, Aaron Grady. And with me today is my friend, teammate, frequent Rare Advisor co-host and contributor and practice management consultant at USA Financial, Allan Oehrlein. Allan, thank you again for spending some time with me today.
Allan Oehrlein, Practice Management Consultant at USA Financial - Always a pleasure, Aaron. Thanks again for having me.
Aaron Grady - Today, we're going to take a little time to focus on a topic that I know is important to you is important to me. It's one that comes up quite a bit with the advisors we work with, but honestly, it's probably one of the ones that are the most misunderstood when it comes to growth strategies in this business. It's the idea around strategic partnerships, but not in the way that most advisors think about it. Let's start here. When most advisors hear the term strategic partners. What do you think they think? Where do you think they're missing the mark?
Allan Oehrlein - So you're right, this is a common thing that comes up among our conversation with advisors. typically, they seem to treat strategic partners like it's more of a lead source, right? Like, who can send me clients? Who should I build referral relationships with? How do I get in front of centers of influence? And really, that's the problem because that mindset immediately turns it into a scoreboard where they look at it like it's a transactional relationship, right? Like, I do this for you, you do this for me.
Aaron Grady - Yeah.
Allan Oehrlein - I've sent them 10 referrals and I haven't gotten a single one back. And again, that type of mindset immediately kills the relationship before it even starts.
Aaron Grady - Exactly. That tit for tat is an awful way to try to approach this concept. It shouldn't be about keeping score. It should, in my opinion, be about building a relationship. know, ultimately, strategic partnerships are not about sharing business. Ultimately, they're about sharing trust. Trust with a strategic partner and eventually trust with your clients, right?
Allan Oehrlein - Absolutely, and it's really such a different frame of mind to have that thought process.
Aaron Grady - You know, it could almost be considered everything when it comes to this concept. Because look, you know, when you shift from how do I get clients from them to a mindset around how do I serve my clients better through them, it changes everything.
Allan Oehrlein - Absolutely. But also keep in mind and understand that that trust doesn't come from just one meeting. mean, just like when you're meeting with prospects and initial clients, it doesn't come from just that one interaction. It can take quite a bit of time to build that level of trust.
Aaron Grady - Absolutely. It's a great point. know, it comes from consistent experience over time. It's a process. You know, we talk about it a lot. Everything's a matter of process, right? This process has some steps to it and we're going to talk more about that a little bit today. We're going to, we'll circle back to that a little bit later in the conversation, but let's shift gears right now and let's start laying out the process, starting with where do you find good strategic partners?
Allan Oehrlein - Sure, absolutely. So the best place to really find strategic partners, let's start where it's not. It's not networking events, it's not LinkedIn, it's not even cold outreach. Really the best strategic partners are already in your world and it's coming from your very best clients. It's the professionals that your best clients already know and trust.
Aaron Grady - You know, that's such an overlooked idea. can't even tell you how many times I've had this conversation with advisors and it seems like a light bulb going off. You know, because think about it. Your best clients are already working with accountants, attorneys, bankers, other insurance professionals. And if your best clients already trust them, you already have a natural bridge to a potential relationship.
Allan Oehrlein - Right, absolutely. So instead of going out and hunting and prospecting, you're really uncovering what already exists.
Aaron Grady - You said it great there. You're looking for patterns. When you start uncovering, when you start having these conversations with your clients, you start looking at their attorneys and CPAs and mortgage brokers and insurance agents, you're looking for who shows up multiple times.
Who do your clients rave about, which is a big one. If they're already advocating on this person's behalf, you know that they've got a great client experience. And you're looking for who aligns with your standards. That synergy is very important because look, it's not about building a list. It's not just simply about building a list. It's about building a short list of the right people. The right people you would trust with your very best client relationships.
Allan Oehrlein - Right, right. So that really begs the first question. How do you know if someone is actually a good strategic partner?
Aaron Grady - You know, that's a great question. I typically start here, you know, using a simple but powerful framework. It starts around three things, actions, attitude, and advocacy. And I love the alliteration, right? The three A's, action, attitude, and advocacy.
Allan Oehrlein - course. So that sounds fantastic. So if you don't mind, break that down a little bit more.
Aaron Grady - Yeah. So actions, you, when you think about actions, it's how do they serve their clients? You know, how do they run their business? Do they deliver a great client experience?
When you think about attitude, it's how do, or how they think about advice and relationships. Do they respect what you do? Do they think like a professional or are they more of a product seller? And then lastly, advocacy. Their ability to communicate your value. Can they actually articulate what you do and your value and will they speak about you with confidence? Because,
A bad referral, and this is something to really take note of, because a bad referral doesn't just hurt a client, it damages your credibility. Because when you refer somebody, they become a direct reflection of you.
Allan Oehrlein - Absolutely. Okay, so let's take it to the next step. You've already, so you say you've identified someone and what's the next step from there, right? Most advisors and strategic partner meetings are pretty informal. It starts with, hey, let's go grab a cup of coffee. Let's have a quick conversation. There's not really any sort of built-in structure there, right?
Aaron Grady - Yeah, this is an important part of the process. And I think you're right. I think this is where the problem lies because professional respect is created through process and professionals respect a process. So when we teach this concept to advisors, we teach something very different than what most people would do. We don't pitch. We don't ask for referrals.
We don't just grab a cup of coffee and see what happens. We treat this experience, this process, exactly like we treat client relationships. We typically look to make a warm introduction, often via a mutual client. We set a formal meeting and we define a fit process with an actual agenda. And I know this sounds crazy. An actual agenda in a meeting with another professional.
Allan Oehrlein - And honestly, that's huge. And I can see how that will immediately create that contrast. And ultimately, it positions you as that professional instead of just a typical solicitor, right?
Aaron Grady - Well, and look, that's the intent. We're trying to position the advisor in a different light. You know, it's not I'm asking something of you, I'm looking to create something. And here's the key. This first meeting is not about doing business. This first meeting is simply about determining if there's even a fit to work together. And there's not any decisions that are going to be made at this meeting. Just like we talk about with client meetings, this is really a table setting, a foundational moment in a potential long term relationship.
Allan Oehrlein - Absolutely and just that thought there immediately lowers the pressure lowers that barrier to entry, right?
Aaron Grady - Yes, absolutely. It's a different psychological approach. No expectations going in or coming out. And, you know, it increases professionalism because now you're not asking for referrals. You're evaluating a relationship.
Allan Oehrlein - Yes. All right. So let's say that the meeting goes great. Now what happens?
Aaron Grady - So this is where in this process, you've built the list and you've taken that next step, you've had the meeting. This is where most advisors completely drop the ball. They follow up once or twice, maybe they grab lunch and then absolutely nothing. They expect advocacy without ever building a relationship.
Allan Oehrlein - Yep. So the next question that comes to mind is, what does it actually take to turn that partner into a true advocate?
Aaron Grady - Yeah, it's just like any of the, think about it through the same lens as if you were talking about your very best clients, right? And it's some of the very same answers, which is why I love this part of the Pareto methodology is because a lot of the things that we do in other areas of the practice management.
is the same concepts just with a different lens of who you're speaking to. And so follows the same track. Just like if you're trying to drive advocacy with your very best clients, it requires consistency, it requires structure, and personal connection. And so to do so, you're gonna need to probably build a service matrix for your strategic partners, just like the one you built for your very best clients.
Allan Oehrlein - And so that's a pretty big shift because you're not just checking in, right? You're delivering more of a designed experience.
Aaron Grady - Mm-hmm. Yes, I love that whole thought just checking in. This is an important distinction. The bulk of advisors who try to develop or cultivate strategic partners do exactly what you say. I created an initial relationship and then I periodically check back and just hope that magically this un-watered garden is going to bear fruit, right? And that's not the case.
Think about what this looks like. This is what a true service matrix for a strategic partner should or could look like. And these are some things you could do. And you could add other elements. But this is typically some of the bare minimum that we would say. Add some call rotations. These aren't business calls. These are relationship calls. So you can stay connected on a personal level. Find out when, know, what their likes and interests are, and maybe start sending them some articles of interest or send them some magazines, you know, based on what matters to them, not you, but what matters to them, and showing that you're paying attention to their interests. You know.
We talk about moments of truth for your clients. You can do the same thing for strategic partners. Recognize life events, birthdays, milestone anniversaries, personal wins. Look, you both are struggling, you're both are building a business as an entrepreneur and as a business owner. And so you guys share common ground. Use and leverage those opportunities to deepen and widen the relationship. Have some biannual meetings. Reinforce your shared approach and values. And don't leave it to chance. Set meetings.
Aaron Grady - actually on the counter say, hey, I wanna make sure that we always stay in touch. I understand what's going on in your business. You have a good sense of what's going on in mine. And here's the big one.
Invite your strategic partners to events and experience. Create memorable interactions beyond business with your best clients. If you're hosting ideal client events, if you're hosting a summer barbecue, invite them along. Make their faces not just someone they see in a meeting every once in while. Make the face that your clients get used to seeing. I think this is a big step forward.
Allan Oehrlein - So this kind of becomes a relationship by design, right?
Aaron Grady - 100%. Understand, if you wing it with strategic partners, they assume you're going to wing it with clients as well.
Allan Oehrlein - So let's talk about the phrase that you use all the time, the whole concept of the two-way street, right? How does this actually turn into introductions?
Aaron Grady - So this is where everything really starts to come together. If you do all this right, you introduce your clients to a great professional, which is a win. The strategic partner enhance your client experience, which is a win. And your clients win because they have this new person involved in their financial planning life. And as a byproduct,
the strategic partners will introduce you to people. And when the strategic partners understand your process, trust how you treat people, experience your consistency and feel personally connected to you. Let me reiterate that. When your strategic partners understand your process.
Trust how you treat people, experience your consistency, and feel, this is an important one, feel personally connected to you. They don't just refer you, they start advocating for you.
Allan Oehrlein - Absolutely. So you don't build strategic partnerships to get referrals. You really build them to deliver better outcomes for your clients, right? The referrals are simply the byproduct. And that's honestly just such a different way to think about growth.
Aaron Grady - Yeah, you said it great. You know, it's it's not growth through marketing. It's growth through integration. And it only happens when relationships go beyond business.
Allan Oehrlein - So if an advisor is listening right now, what should they actually do next? What's the action plan here?
Aaron Grady - Mm-hmm, yeah. So here's a simple outline you could follow and this is where I would start. So if you're gonna start here, this is what it would look like. Start with your best clients and start having some better conversations in those meetings. Start asking about their accountants, their lawyers, their bankers, their insurance agent. Ask, you know, do they enjoy the experience? Would they refer them to others? You know, from that, start taking some inventory. Who are they already working with and who are the ones that they really, really care about or like or would advocate? You want to identify those, you know, those gems in that group and that list. And then from that, once you've started building that list for your clients, identify patterns. Who shows up multiple times? So who's using the same attorney? Who's still using the same CPA? Who's using the same mortgage broker, the same banker?
From that list, narrow that down to build a short list of quality over quantity. We're talking maybe five to 10 professionals per category. And I know five to 10 sounds like a big number. And for some, it may be, look, you're only maybe finding two or three in each category, but you want to have a good starting point and starting with a warm introduction this way is probably the best. From there, you would initiate a fit meeting, remember, with structure and intention. And then once a relationship is built, and there's more to that side of it, and if people are interested, they can connect with us and we can talk more about what happens in those individual meetings and how do you actually connect in the language you would use with the strategic partner. But once that relationship is established, build a service matrix.
Treat them like one of your top clients and focus on the relationship first. No expectation, no scorekeeping because if you're trying to grow your business by chasing referrals, you'll always be chasing.
Allan Oehrlein - But if your goal is to build real relationships, by building a network of trusted professionals who help you deliver that better client experience, then.
Aaron Grady - Yeah, you just don't grow, you become indispensable and you create something far more powerful. Because at the end of the day, people don't refer business. The truth of the matter is they refer trust.
Thanks again everyone for listening to the Rare Advisor podcast again. If you found this episode valuable, make sure to like and subscribe so you never miss future conversations designed to help you refine your practice, elevate your client experience, and as always, when the why is clear, the how becomes easy. So never lose sight of your why.
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The RARE Advisor is a business model supercharged by Recurring And Repeatable Events. With decades of experience coaching successful advisors, your host, along with other leaders in the industry, discusses what it takes to grow a successful practice. With the aim of helping financial professionals and financial advisors take their business to the next level, this podcast shares insights and success stories that will make a real impact. Regardless of the stage of your practice, The RARE Advisor will provide thoughtful guidance, suggestions for developing systems and processes that work, and ideas for creating an authentic experience for your clients.
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