SUMMARY
In wealth management, one of the most significant yet often overlooked risks to long-term growth is not market volatility, pricing pressure, or competition—it is natural attrition. Over time, every advisory practice encounters transitions driven by aging clients, generational wealth transfer, and life events such as death or widowhood. While most advisors acknowledge the importance of multi-generational planning, far fewer implement a consistent and intentional process to build relationships with the next generation before those transitions occur. This gap represents both a critical vulnerability and a powerful opportunity.
At the heart of this issue is a common misconception: many advisors assume that if they manage a client’s assets, the relationship with the family will naturally follow when those assets transfer. However, experience and industry data tell a different story. A large percentage of heirs choose to work with a different advisor after inheriting wealth. This outcome is not surprising when viewed from the perspective of the next generation. In many cases, children and grandchildren have little to no relationship with their parents’ advisor. To them, that advisor represents someone tied to their parents’ financial life—not their own. Without familiarity, trust, or a sense of personal relevance, there is little reason for them to continue the relationship.
Compounding this challenge is timing. When advisors delay engaging the next generation, the first meaningful interaction often occurs during a period of emotional stress following a loss. At that point, the opportunity to establish a natural, comfortable relationship has largely passed. Conversations become transactional, rushed, and often unwelcome. Both the advisor and the family may feel the awkwardness of trying to establish trust under difficult circumstances. This is why the principle emphasized in the episode is so important: the relationship should transfer before the wealth does.
Reframing the opportunity in this way shifts the focus away from reactive engagement and toward proactive relationship-building. Importantly, this is not about prospecting a client’s children or attempting to “sell” them services. Instead, it is about becoming part of the family’s broader support system. Advisors who approach this with the intent to create familiarity, accessibility, and continuity position themselves as a trusted resource not just for the current client, but for the family as a whole. This distinction is critical, as it allows conversations to feel natural and value-driven rather than transactional.
Two key tools discussed for facilitating this process are the family phone call and the legacy package. The family phone call is intentionally simple, designed to remove friction and make introductions easy. Typically lasting just five to ten minutes, it is a brief video conversation that allows the advisor to meet children or grandchildren in a low-pressure setting. The emphasis is on connection, not complexity. By avoiding overly formal or lengthy meetings, advisors can create a positive first impression that feels conversational rather than transactional. This simplicity also makes the process scalable, enabling advisors to implement it consistently across their top client relationships.
A critical aspect of this approach is intentionality. Advisors are encouraged to introduce the concept of the family phone call as a standard part of their process, rather than as an optional or occasional add-on. By positioning it as a value-added service for their best clients, the conversation becomes more natural and less awkward. Scheduling the call immediately—rather than leaving it open-ended—ensures that the opportunity does not fade away due to competing priorities. These small but meaningful details can significantly impact the effectiveness of the process.
Complementing the family phone call is the legacy package, which serves as a way to articulate and organize the full scope of value an advisor provides. In an industry where much of the work is intangible, clients may only recognize a fraction of what their advisor actually does. The legacy package helps bring these services into focus by connecting them under a unified narrative centered around family continuity and long-term planning. It highlights areas such as generational planning, estate coordination, beneficiary considerations, and transition support—not as isolated tasks, but as part of a cohesive philosophy.
This framing elevates the advisor’s role from simply managing investments to helping families navigate important life transitions. It also creates clarity for clients, enabling them to better understand and communicate the value they receive. When clients can internalize and articulate this value, it enhances their ability to advocate on the advisor’s behalf. In this way, the legacy package not only strengthens existing relationships but also contributes to future growth.
The importance of follow-through cannot be overstated. A successful introduction is only the first step in building a lasting relationship. Advisors must take deliberate actions to remain connected with the next generation after the initial interaction. This can include simple gestures such as sending a handwritten note, connecting on professional platforms, and inviting them to future conversations. One effective approach is offering a “sounding board” session, where younger family members can ask questions in a more private and comfortable setting. This creates an additional layer of engagement and demonstrates a willingness to provide value without expectation.
Equally important is integrating these new relationships into ongoing communication. Adding them to newsletters, updates, and event invitations ensures that the advisor remains visible and relevant over time. These consistent touchpoints reinforce familiarity and help maintain the connection established through the initial introduction.
Ultimately, the goal of these efforts is not just asset retention, but relationship continuity. Advisors who embrace this mindset shift begin to see their role in a broader context. They are not simply investment managers; they become trusted stewards of their clients’ family legacy. This perspective aligns their work with long-term outcomes that extend beyond any single client relationship.
As the episode emphasizes, every advisory practice will face the realities of natural attrition. The key question is whether advisors will prepare for it proactively or respond to it reactively. By identifying top client households, initiating family introductions, leveraging tools like the family phone call and legacy package, and following up with intention, advisors can position themselves to navigate generational transitions more effectively.
In doing so, they unlock a powerful opportunity. The next generation of ideal clients is often already within reach—connected to the relationships they have worked so hard to build. The challenge is not finding them, but ensuring that those individuals know who the advisor is and understand the value they provide. When that connection is established early and nurtured over time, it creates a foundation for continuity, stronger relationships, and sustainable growth.
TRANSCRIPT
Aaron Grady, Advisor Consulting Director at USA Financial - Welcome back to another edition of the Rare Advisor Podcast, where we help financial professionals create recurring and repeatable events that deepen relationships, elevate the client experience, and build referable practices. I'm your host, Aaron Grady, and with me again is my semi-regular co-host and practice management consultant at USA Financial, Allan Oehrlein. Thanks for joining me again today, Allan.
Allan Oehrlein, Practice Management Consultant - Absolutely, Aaron. Like I said, always a pleasure to be here. Thanks for having me.
Aaron Grady - Well I'm just glad you could take some time out of your busy schedule to join me because today we're gonna talk about a topic that I think is probably one of the biggest opportunities and one of the biggest blind spots in wealth management. It's the idea around building meaningful relationships with the children and grandchildren of your best clients before a transition happens.
Allan Oehrlein - Because honestly, most advisors know multi-generational planning absolutely matters, right? But very few actually have a process for building those relationships intentionally.
Aaron Grady - you know, I I I agree, I agree. That it in the point you make is exactly on point. And and that's where where we're gonna focus today is on tools like the family phone call and the legacy package where these can become incredibly powerful in assisting in this process. Because this isn't just about estate planning. This is about helping advisors create continuity. It's about creating retention.
It's about relationship transfer, increasing enterprise value, and ultimately helping clients feel confident that their families are going to be cared for long after they're gone. You know, as I see it when we talk about this concept, the real problem is that most advisors wait too long to really address this issue. And it's not that it's not necessarily a known issue, but it's that they they wait, they put off, they delay. And I think that this becomes the biggest mistake that advisors can make is assuming the relationship is automatically going to transfer with the assets.
Allan Oehrlein - And I'll tell you we see it time and time again. relationships don't transfer automatically. Many advisors think, hey, just because I'm managing the assets of the parents, that the children are automatically going to follow suit and join in, right? But that familiarity, just like the trust, doesn't transfer automatically. It's very important to remember that.
Aaron Grady - Yeah, I I mean, look, I'm I'm not saying that it's an unknown. You and I talk to advisors all the time, and and if if I took a straw poll, most advisors have lived through the experience of watching one of their best clients, you know, pass on and then watching those assets disappear and evaporate with them. You know, and and the statistics actually bear it out as well. You know, if you look at the studies that have been done in this industry.
You know, most statistics show that nearly seventy percent of heirs change advisors after inheriting wealth. And it really isn't a surprise. It really shouldn't be a surprise. but I think it's a huge opportunity and a missed opportunity because there's so many advisors who don't take the opportunity to build those relationships early.
Allan Oehrlein - Yes, absolutely. Because in in many and most cases, the children barely know the advisor, right? And a lot of these kids think, well, that's my that's my parents' advisor. That's not my advisor. So in their head they feel like they need to maybe get someone who's more in line with their values and and their thoughts, right? Or worse, you know, barely knowing the advisor the first time they ever interact with the advisor is
you know, during a period of grief after a death, where things are very confusing and it's a tough transition. And really the last thing they want to be doing is being courted by their parents' financial advisor for a quick introduction, right? It's the last thing on their minds.
Aaron Grady - You know, having having lost people that are close to me and and anybody who who has lost someone close to them, you know, that time, especially right after the loss, you know, it's
The last thing you want to do is is be thrust into this process. And so it's awkward on both ends. It's awkward for the advisor. It's awkward for the family. they just want to get this process over with. They don't want to talk about this. Or sometimes they'll put it off, but that doesn't help either. And so aligning yourself so that you don't create this opportunity where it's simply too late is very important. you know, one of the one of the phrases that I use and I know you use as well.
internally is the relationship should transfer before the wealth does. Let me say that again. The relationship should transfer before the wealth does. And and really that's the whole conversation we're having today.
Allan Oehrlein - Right, and this is an excellent chance to kind of reframe this whole opportunity, right? This isn't about selling to the kids. and I think this is important, right? The conversation isn't about, you know, trying to prospect your clients' children. That's where advisors get really uncomfortable.
Aaron Grady - I agree wholeheartedly. And and look, it's you know, it's not that that they won't become clients or can't become clients, and they may become clients through this process, but this is really about becoming part of the family support system. It's about creating familiarity. It's about creating accessibility, but ultimately creating continuity.
Allan Oehrlein - And honestly, some of the best advisors that I work with and that you've worked with in the past and currently working with, they're already doing this naturally, right? They just haven't necessarily systematized it yet with an actual process.
Aaron Grady - You know, that's why I love this family phone call concept so much. I know you and I have been familiar with this concept for quite a while. It was introduced to us through our relationship with Pareto and ultimately through our relationship with First Trust. And I believe they gleaned this knowledge from an advisory team that was doing this very effectively with their own client base. if I remember the story correctly, the advisory practice was essentially built almost like you know, it was from the top down, it was grandparents' parents, kids, grandkids, where it was the their whole client base was built off these generations of clients. And so ultimately I think that's where we're really focusing. And so leveraging the family phone call concept, it allows you to create a simple, repeatable, low pressure, that's a key one, low pressure framework for making those introductions happen.
Honestly, happen naturally. And so when we talk about this the family phone call, it's a simple process that has a massive impact. And so let's talk about what this really looks like itself. And let's kind of get into some of the nuts and bolts. So what I love about the process, and I know I've said it a bunch of times, but I'm going to use a an additional word here. It's intentionally simple. Look, we don't need to overcomplicate this. This is about human com connection. This is about you know, building bridges and conveying it. And and I and I say this because what I want to convey to anybody on the other end of this message is if you go into this with I it it doesn't sound conversational. It sounds like I'm selling somebody on something, it's gonna fall flat. This is not a two-hour family summit. The family phone call is not a giant planning meeting.
In fact, I shared this story with you not too long ago, Alan. I had a team who got thrust into what they thought was going to be a family phone call, but the client misunderstood and they made it a family meeting, a family summit. And quite frankly, what should have happened is a family phone call should have landed before a brief opportunity to get to know one another. Because what happened was when they set down for this meeting, the the feel on the other side was that the advisory team was trying to sell the
Family members who didn't know them on something. And so if there was a level of familiarity that would have made that a little simpler. So stage this stuff out. If you ever get in that situation, do the family phone call first, get to know everybody. Then if they want to have a family meeting, perfect, wonderful. And so understand it's not a giant planning meeting, it's not a two-hour family summit. This is typically just a brief five to ten minute video conversation to get to know one another.
Allan Oehrlein - Right. And really that simplicity is what makes it scalable, right? The process guide that we can provide as a resource after this call lays out a very intentional structure, right? So in other words, you're sort of planting the seed during that spring strategy and tactical meeting, sort of introducing it formally, you know, during a fall meeting, right? Schedule it immediately, use resources like video technology, you know, whether it's Zoom or Teams or something like that.
And then following up intentionally after the family phone call takes place.
Aaron Grady - And I think the idea around immediately scheduling is critical. Because look, if you leave this vague, and I and I know advisors have the best intentions, but if you go in with this, hey, let me know when your kids are available, this is probably never going to materialize. It's never going to happen.
Allan Oehrlein - Right. Exactly right. But when you position it as maybe taking a different route, this is part of our process. You know, it's an important value added service that we provide for our best clients. Now it feels intentional and not awkward.
Aaron Grady - There's that word, intentional. It's it's something that we do with purpose. And and again, this is not about selling. You're you're simply creating conversation. You're simply creating connection before life forces an uncomfortable conversation.
Allan Oehrlein - Right. And really that's getting back to the overall legacy package, you know, making the invisible value visible. You know, this is the world that we that you live in as a financial advisor, right? It's we're not selling widgets, there's nothing tangible here. So it's it's really about creating that value and making sure the client fully understands everything that you do, right?
Aaron Grady - Yeah.
Allan Oehrlein - I think this is where the legacy package becomes in that incr incredibly powerful as well. because most advisors, like you say, they provide more than what clients actually recognize. And it really sort of reminds me of when we're when we're having the conversation and coaching around
The seven pillars, right? We're talking about all the different things that you do over the life of a client relationship. You know, most of the times it's seventy five to a hundred and fifty things that you provide over the life of the client relationship. Only a few of them are are really t relevant at any given time. But you know, what we convey to the client is eventually all of those things
will become relevant at some point in your life. So it's sort of the same process, right? We want to make sure that the client sees the vast amount of value that is going to be provided over this and that the legacy package does a good job of bringing that to the forefront.
Aaron Grady - You know, I I love that concept. I love the whole simple thought of make the invisible value visible, you know, in an intangible industry, create tangibility. You know, it's you know, we talk about and actually I think I was sent an Instagram post the other day that talked about one of the most and actually you may have sent it to me now that I think about it, one of the most valuable skills being taught or should be taught is storytelling.
Allan Oehrlein - Yes.
Aaron Grady - and so this is a perfect example. It's as an advisor, putting names to things, packaging things together, being able to tell a story that resonates with people is a huge part of what we do, especially again in an intangible industry that we work in. And so, you know, a lot of advisors are already helping clients with things like beneficiaries or you know, coordinating the executor, or having estate conversations, or you know, charitable giving or charitable intent, you know, or giving any kind of family guidance or even distribution planning. and and ultimately transition support. But understandably, clients often see these as isolated conversations instead of part of a bigger philosophy around their personal legacy.
Allan Oehrlein - Exactly, exactly. And so the legacy package, think about it this way, it helps advisors connect all those dots into one cohesive story. Right? The examples we reviewed already include things like generational planning,
Aaron Grady - Mm-hmm.
Allan Oehrlein - most the word I'm thinking for, sounding board services, family phone calls, legacy clients, survivor checklists, things like executor checklists if you ever have a client that's in that scenario where they're they're in an executor of an estate. but also just basic estate coordination and distribution planning.
Aaron Grady - It and and understand too. the the legacy package is a simple resource. It is a marketing tool. you know to help our compliance friends. we are not advocating to give legal advice on estates. This is simply a a way to highlight the areas of your practice that touch client personal legacy. And so understand that When you when you have a resource like the legacy package and you're able to have these conversation, this changes the conversation from simply we manage investments to we help families navigate life's transitions.
And that's a completely different level of value that you can bring to the table for your clients on an ongoing basis, ongoing basis. And if you think about it on a new client relationship, it helps create professional contrast and a stark distinction between you and your competition, who may frankly do some of the same things.
But they don't have a way of packaging or conveying it in a way that your clients can internalize it and then vocalize it to someone else. And so understand where this all flows to. The idea around the family phone call and the legacy package, ultimately, this is about protecting against natural attrition. The attrition that nobody likes to talk about. You know, you know, one of the reasons I think this conversation matters so much right now is because simply natural attrition is what we all seem to be facing.
Allan Oehrlein - Yeah. And honestly that's such an important phrase phrase right there, the natural attrition, because, you know, we're not talking about losing clients based off of things like, you know, the performance didn't meet meet their standards or their expectation, or the pricing was too much, so I ended up leaving that advisor. We're talking about, you know, aging clients, it's it's death, it's wealth transfer, it's it's that generational transition from that point. and that's really at the heart of it.
Aaron Grady - Mm-hmm. And and you know, I I know you you mentioned this to me before we got on call. You mentioned the topic the the idea of widowhood. You know, if we ran out the statistics right now of how many people change advisors when, you know, if it's if the husband passes first and the wife has left, how many wives actually change advisors afterwards? And so that's part of the conversation as well. And look, every advisory firm
Allan Oehrlein - Yeah.
Aaron Grady - I don't care who you are, is going to face this eventually. If you haven't already, and if you've been in this business longer than a few years, you've probably faced this. Natural attrition is coming for every practice. The question is, are you proactively preparing for continuity? Or are you waiting and reacting after the transition has already happened?
Allan Oehrlein - Right. And honestly most or I should say most, many advisors end up spending more time chasing strangers than deepening relationships with current with or rather with future clients who are already connected to their very best households.
Aaron Grady - You know, that's such a a powerful point. the idea of you know, we we say it all the time, you know, we talk about the whole premise around what we teach and coach to is around driving client advocacy, right? tr you know, instead of trying to convince the unconvinced, convince the the already convinced to convince others on your behalf. That's a lot of convincing. but the powerful point here is
Allan Oehrlein - Yeah.
Aaron Grady - your best future clients may already exist inside of your current client base as a natural connection to their kids and grandkids, to their their circle of influence as it as it were, and you simply just haven't met them yet.
Allan Oehrlein - Right.
Allan Oehrlein - Right, right. So the next step naturally is the practical implementation, right? What do we do next? How can advisors start this? So so let's make it practical. If an advisor is listening or watching right now and they want to begin implementing, where would you suggest they start?
Aaron Grady - Great question. And I know you mentioned it earlier. I remember you mentioning the guide. we have some tools and resources. We have a best practices overview and guide for how to implement this, some agendas for the meetings, follow-up process, and also like follow-up emails. So we have a bunch of tools and resources that will help supplement this as part of the implementation of this process. But I would probably say the easiest and simplest for the sake of our call today would be.
Simply identify your AAA and double A households. If you haven't already classified your clients, start there. But look at your ideal households. And these are the ones who are already clients, and these are the clients that you truly value relationships long-term planning. But here's a key thing to understand.
Allan Oehrlein - Mm-hmm.
Aaron Grady - Look at your clients, your AAA's and double A clients, and if when you're look at those, if there's not a dotted line to a legacy relationship that already exists, and in our framework, what we talk about when we say legacy client, this is a children or grandchildren of those ideal relationships. If there's not an existing relationship already there, you might as well just go ahead and circle those assets and you're just set a ticking clock waiting for them to leave your book of business. And so
Allan Oehrlein - Right.
Aaron Grady - identify who these important relationships are, and then start seeing if if there's not a relationship existing, then I need to be intentional about starting to create these relationships.
Allan Oehrlein - Right. And if I had to throw in a second, I know I kind of alluded to this a little bit earlier, but you know, start by planting that planting that seed during the strategy and tactical meetings, you know, and start letting your existing clients know. the guide again that we're referencing that we're going provide after this after this segment specifically talks about introducing it first as a new value added service that you ha now have access to. you know, before rolling it out or
But fully rolling it out later in the year. And if you have new clients coming on board, the easiest thing to do and the easiest way to implement it is really just to incorporate it into your new client process. And just simply say the next step in our process is to talk through this family phone call. Here's what it means, here are the next steps, here's how we execute it. And don't even leave it up as an option and just say, hey, this is the next step in what we do.
Aaron Grady - I love the idea of the non-negotiable. It is just part of our process. We've we've moved assets, we've set up accounts, we've done the estate planning. And the next thing is we need to meet with those who are important because we don't leave that to chance. I love it. That's so great. probably the third thing in this process would be, in my opinion, you know, use the legacy package.
So you know, we kind of did it in reverse order today. We talked about the family phone call, and then we talked about the legacy package. But the legacy package is a simple on-ramp to start these conversations, but also to frame the bigger why. And, you know, we always talk about the why, you know, the when the why is clear, the how becomes easy, right? So the bigger why is helping your clients understand continuity, stewardship preparedness and family support, and ultimately your role that you play in their personal legacy.
Allan Oehrlein - And honestly, from there, I'd say the next step is just to schedule that family phone call and do it immediately. Don't leave it open-ended. Don't leave it to twist in the wind and again be nonchalant about it and say, hey, when you got time, when the kids are in town, we should try to get this thing booked and no. Throw that away. Schedule it immediately. Don't leave it open-ended. The guide that we send out is is going to remind you to be very intentional about that and just get it on the books.
Aaron Grady - And and I and again to reiterate and we'll you know mention it later, tools, resources, we've got that, we'll make it simple. But I I guess the final piece to this puzzle, for the sake of brevity today is once you've hosted that family phone call, once that meeting has happened, you've gotta follow up with intentionality. Remember, we're building relationships here. You can't just, hey, nice to meet you and never talk to them again. My recommendation, and this is spelled out clearly in the guide, is connect with them on LinkedIn if they have a LinkedIn profile.
Definitely write them a handwritten note. I know it's an extra step, but take the time, write a hat, a little personal handwritten note. Really enjoyed the chance to meet you. It was a pleasure, blah, blah, blah. You know, if you need some help with that, we can help with that as well. And as an extension of that, invite them to a sounding board session. We have another video, another podcast that talks about and some resources that talk about the sounding board session. But in this context, you know, it it's really simply this it's a 20 to 30 minute ask us anything session.
Session. Understand that the kids and the grandkids may not feel comfortable in that 5, 10, 15-minute call to ask a question about their own personal finances in front of grandma, in front of mom and dad, in front of their siblings, in front of their cousins, maybe. So extend the opportunity that, hey, as an extension of your relationship with their loved one, that you're willing to have this conversation to let them ask some questions. you know, you maybe can do some other little personal touches, and then definitely, 100% definitely, make sure you.
add them to your ongoing communication. If you're doing if you have an a newsletter that you send out add them to the newsletter list. If you've got an email correspondence that you send out on market updates or or you know whatever, add them to those communications because you want to stay top of mind because that's a big part of advocacy, but it's about building relationships and not letting them forget about who you are.
Allan Oehrlein - Right. And if I wanted to share kind of a as we ease into the some of the closing thoughts here, at the end of the day, asset retention is a very important part of the process, right? It's but just as important, if not slightly more important, is creating that relationship continuity, right? And providing that higher level of value-added service for your clients. You know, it's about helping these clients feel confident.
That the people that they care about will have that guidance, that support, that trusted relationship long after they're gone. And the advisors that understand that become much more than just investment managers.
Aaron Grady - That's powerful. You know, much more than investment managers. I love that thought. You know, the idea here is that you become trusted stewards of the family legacy. And ultimately, the relationship should transfer before the wealth does. And
Allan Oehrlein - Yes.
Aaron Grady - Let me just wrap up by saying thank you again for joining us for another episode of the Rare Advisor Podcast. If today's conversations challenged you to think differently about multi-generational relationships, continuity, and the client experience, then I challenge you to take the first step. Start the conversation because the next generation of your best clients probably already exists. The question is, do they know who you are yet? So as I always say, remember when the why is clear.
The how becomes easy, so never lose sight of your why.
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